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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26119003">Hypocrite</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflehousehours/pseuds/wafflehousehours'>wafflehousehours</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek &amp; Paul/Levenson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Broadway, Connorsdead, Deh - Freeform, Musicals, Oneshot, firststory, itskindasad, post-musical</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:55:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>615</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26119003</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafflehousehours/pseuds/wafflehousehours</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>From age 14 up to the death of her brother, Zoe Murphy has always known she was a bit of a hypocrite.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Hypocrite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello everybody! Thanks for clicking on my story. This is my first story and it’s just a small one shot. Please let me know if ya like it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She was 14 when Connor started using drugs. That’s when the whole downfall started. Sure, Connor had always been angry as a child but this didn’t help. It pissed off his parents which caused casual fighting about grades and responsibilities to become a almost daily occurrence. Her family wasn’t perfect, but now it seemed like Connor was trying to ruin it. And she hated him for that.</p>
<p>She never knew who started the first fight they had. All she knew is they were screaming at the top of their lungs and Connor kicked a dent in her door. The next day she came home to her mother crying, muttering about how Connor feels so distant. She had never seen her mother like that before. That’s when she decided she resented Connor Murphy. </p>
<p>And that of course, made her a hypocrite. She’d yell at him about how him smoking pot was ruining the family, all while leaving for a friends house where they always end up passing a joint around. She didn’t do it often, but at least she wasn’t like him.</p>
<p>It got worse after he passed. Of course by that time it was no longer stupid arguments over a legalized drug. At one point when their parents weren’t home Connor threatened Zoe with a knife outside her door, yelling at her that he was going to kill her as he tried to kick her door in. If her parents didn’t come home a few moments later she’s convinced he would have actually done it. She knew logically that it had to be more than some weed and mental issues, he was probably on harder drugs though she could never prove it. </p>
<p>After the Connor Project blew up in all their faces and Zoe lost the one thing that made her life seem okay, she wasn’t sure what to do anymore. She still had jazz band but she didn’t hang out with her friends in it as much since she was focused on her family and Evan so it just felt awkward. It wasn’t until a few nights after Evan stopped trying to call her that she ended up outside Jared Kleinman’s house. Zoe knew there was a slight risk of Evan being there, but it was late and she decided to risk it. Honestly, besides her friends she doesn’t know anyone else who would have weed. </p>
<p>Zoe didn’t return home until 4am that morning, choosing to smoke the joints she got from Jared in the newly reopened Apple Orchard. She sat against a tree and thought about what a joke this had all been. She felt like a fool to even slightly believe that Connor actually cared about anyone in life. Honestly she wishes she had stuck with her first gut feeling when Evan came to the door that day. But hey, at least some trees got something out of it. </p>
<p>Everyone else lost though. Evan screwed up every friendship he had, her mom seemed more empty than when Connor was yelling at her, hell even Jared ended up switching to online school from the stress of everything. Zoe considered that option as well, but it wouldn’t change much. She’d still get death threats on her phone no matter how many numbers she block and she’d still come home to find her window smashed and a rock lying in the middle of the room. In the grand scheme of things it’s almost like Connor was still here, only worse. If that was even humanly possible. </p>
<p>She finally understood what it was like for Connor to walk around school with everyone hating you. And just slightly, she understood why he wanted to leave so bad.</p>
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